The Pace of Devotion
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:38-42
"You have to get this done now, or you will miss the opportunity!" Those words ring in my head and make a pit come alive in my stomach almost daily these days. That pit is the fear of missing the opportunity God has laid out before me because I haven't fought hard enough for it or because someone else got there first. Rationally in my head I can say, "If God has called me to it, he will bring it to pass as long as I remain faithful to his voice and guidance." Emotionally... fear and protectiveness rise up, sometimes obviously and sometimes imperceptibly, quite frequently. I have seen this trend for a while, but sometimes when we are caught in a negative heart cycle it is really hard to get out of, even when we are trying our best.
I found myself last night tearing up to the words of my pastor as he spoke of sitting at the feet of Jesus as the first and foremost task of the follower. Everything else is secondary to and resulting from that. This is not something new for me, but somehow I missed the beautiful path of checking my ambition and fear by sitting at the feet of Jesus as my Lord, my Rabbi.
In the story of the hardworking Martha and the raptly listening Mary I see two parts of myself. I see the fear-motivated action and devotion-motivated focus. There is a world of difference! There is so much I could say about this passage (not the least of which would be Jesus privileging Mary, a woman, to be a disciple among the men rather than assigning to her the traditional female role of cook and hostess). But my focus today is this: Focused devotion leads to fruitful service and a grounded identity. Distracted service leads to resentful disconnection and fearful insecurity.
Frenzied activity that comes from a place of needing approval or ensuring success is inherently disconnecting. As we run around in fear we cannot look intently into the eyes of Jesus, the very one we need to guide, affirm, validate and hold us as we walk the challenging tasks he gives us. The truth is not that he doesn't give us things to do. The truth is that in order to do the task he gives us our priority HAS to be listening to him and gazing into his heart and eyes as our guide and security. This is not an easy task, because it means surrendering our fears to him as we trust that his way is best. If he says to pause, we pause. If he says to move, we move. If he says to surrender privilege and position we do. If he says to step up into more responsibility we do. If he says, "just sit and learn with me for a while," we do. Regardless of how quickly others are moving past you, regardless of how unlikely it seems your plans will succeed if you slow down, regardless of how naive it feels that you will be capable of doing the things he calls you to. The very act of stopping and saying, "What you have to say is more important; you are more important," changes everything. It gives us a groundedness and humility we cannot have any other way.
The image I get when I think of this truth is of me sitting at the feet of Jesus, looking into his eyes as he joyfully unveils the mysteries of the universe, love and eternity, and then says, "Now take it over there. Take it to them. Take it to her." I do, and then I come right back to soak up more and tell him how it went. There may be Marthas running all around me, but Jesus says, "I want you right here. Don't worry about what they are doing. That's between me and them." He is my Lord. He determines my speed and my path. What a beautiful pace. What a beautiful peace. Let it be, Lord. Let it be.
"You have to get this done now, or you will miss the opportunity!" Those words ring in my head and make a pit come alive in my stomach almost daily these days. That pit is the fear of missing the opportunity God has laid out before me because I haven't fought hard enough for it or because someone else got there first. Rationally in my head I can say, "If God has called me to it, he will bring it to pass as long as I remain faithful to his voice and guidance." Emotionally... fear and protectiveness rise up, sometimes obviously and sometimes imperceptibly, quite frequently. I have seen this trend for a while, but sometimes when we are caught in a negative heart cycle it is really hard to get out of, even when we are trying our best.
I found myself last night tearing up to the words of my pastor as he spoke of sitting at the feet of Jesus as the first and foremost task of the follower. Everything else is secondary to and resulting from that. This is not something new for me, but somehow I missed the beautiful path of checking my ambition and fear by sitting at the feet of Jesus as my Lord, my Rabbi.
In the story of the hardworking Martha and the raptly listening Mary I see two parts of myself. I see the fear-motivated action and devotion-motivated focus. There is a world of difference! There is so much I could say about this passage (not the least of which would be Jesus privileging Mary, a woman, to be a disciple among the men rather than assigning to her the traditional female role of cook and hostess). But my focus today is this: Focused devotion leads to fruitful service and a grounded identity. Distracted service leads to resentful disconnection and fearful insecurity.
Frenzied activity that comes from a place of needing approval or ensuring success is inherently disconnecting. As we run around in fear we cannot look intently into the eyes of Jesus, the very one we need to guide, affirm, validate and hold us as we walk the challenging tasks he gives us. The truth is not that he doesn't give us things to do. The truth is that in order to do the task he gives us our priority HAS to be listening to him and gazing into his heart and eyes as our guide and security. This is not an easy task, because it means surrendering our fears to him as we trust that his way is best. If he says to pause, we pause. If he says to move, we move. If he says to surrender privilege and position we do. If he says to step up into more responsibility we do. If he says, "just sit and learn with me for a while," we do. Regardless of how quickly others are moving past you, regardless of how unlikely it seems your plans will succeed if you slow down, regardless of how naive it feels that you will be capable of doing the things he calls you to. The very act of stopping and saying, "What you have to say is more important; you are more important," changes everything. It gives us a groundedness and humility we cannot have any other way.
The image I get when I think of this truth is of me sitting at the feet of Jesus, looking into his eyes as he joyfully unveils the mysteries of the universe, love and eternity, and then says, "Now take it over there. Take it to them. Take it to her." I do, and then I come right back to soak up more and tell him how it went. There may be Marthas running all around me, but Jesus says, "I want you right here. Don't worry about what they are doing. That's between me and them." He is my Lord. He determines my speed and my path. What a beautiful pace. What a beautiful peace. Let it be, Lord. Let it be.
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